It's Friday...but Sunday's Coming

What a week it has been! It is lovely to be able to finally sit and just think of God being present with me in this stillness. Behind me the church bells are singing, in front of me the soothing fountain seems to breathe water's refreshment into the wind. A gorgeous evening...there is laughter, the trees are so vibrant with stubborn late summer life, and a gorgeous setting sun.

The past several days have been full of course scheduling changes, advising appointments, interviews, piano practice, and sickness. I started the week tired and somehow am finishing it just a bit more tired. But I am so thankful for the beauty that arrests my vision and reminds me that I cannot see God when I take no time to look for Him. Yes, He IS in my chaos..but only when I surrender that chaos to His capable care.

So here it is..Friday. The end of another week. But I cannot help but smile at the phrase "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming". This week may seem beyond redemption. Some moments I may have even felt the ache of defeat. But I hope in my Sundays...little glimpses of heaven on earth. Amazing chances to worship in the presence of my Savior! Opportunities to let the world's deadness fade away and rejoice in the eternal life I've been given through Jesus :)

The Gift of Laughter

Musings on Fun in Faith

Throughout my life, I've been called many things. A few of my nicknames are Granny, Butterfingers, Teacher's Pet, and recently I got the name Droopy-eyes. In fact, I very much enjoy my silly nicknames because they teach me to poke fun at myself. :)

I am realizing gradually that life becomes joyless when we take ourselves, our lives, and others too seriously. Over the past few days, I've been fighting sickness..a pretty gross affair consisting of a nose like a fountain, red eyes, froggy voice, and a cough reminiscent of a chain-smoker's. Let me tell you...my room just reeks of Vicks vapo-rub. And of course, like a darling, my roommate takes one look at me and says, "Whoa, you're not looking so good..in fact you kinda look like death." Hah! I start to laugh and then hack like death in confirmation of her statement.

But, my point in all of this is that I had a marvelous weekend despite all of that. I spent Friday night with hundreds of college students worshipping the Lord Jesus and learning from the Bible. Yesterday, my roommate surprised me with hot cider (my favorite!) and I enjoyed reading my favorite novel, Jane Eyre, in preparation for a class next week. I also spent some of my evening joking about turkeys with my boyfriend who is planning to celebrate his Thanksgiving with me. :)

What a blessed woman I am! How much God has given me! I am given an opportunity to not only learn of God and serve Him but to enjoy Him! To laugh at my humanity and enjoy the blessings He has provided for me within His purposes..

May we never forget that joy comes in unlikely places...and it is all rooted in the Savior who has given us life and joy eternal. :)

The Beginning and the End

Musing on Starts and Endings

We have all heard the phrase "Every ending is just the beginning of something else." It's amazing to see how true that statement is. And yet, today as my sophomore year of college begins, I can't help but notice that the reverse is true as well. Every beginning is also the ending of something else.

This is not a bad thing. Even though we as humans struggle to accept change, we would never grow without it. Without the start of learning, there would be no end of ignorance. Without the start of a relationship, there would be no end of singlehood. Without the start of a family, there would be no end to loneliness. Without the start of a school year, there would be no end to summer.

I can't help but think of the cross-- the cross of Jesus. The cross was the start of grace and the fulfillment and ending of the law. The cross was the start of life eternal and the end of death. And here is where I am most convicted: the cross was the beginning of me as a new creation and the end of the rule of the old flesh. When we are baptized into the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are displaying our death to sin and our new life in Christ.

But, how easy it is to forget that we have been changed! When my life as a Christ-follower began, nothing seemed more natural than leaving my self behind and striving to please Him. I was dead and then alive again..how incredible! Yet as time goes by, something of that bent toward God becomes bent against Him despite the change in our hearts. If we are not careful to stay close to the Source of our life, we wander closer and closer to the sin and spiritual deadness we were saved from.

Today, as I head off to my first class of the semester, I hope I do not forget that every start is an ending and every ending is a start. As I lose myself, I gain the Lord Jesus. As I wave goodbye to selfish sin and pride, I am made ready to greet the Savior who welcomes me. As I look back to the completion of my first year of college, I step into my second--with a clean slate in front of me and a powerful Redeemer walking right next to me. I tend to hate endings...but I just need to remember that in every ending, there is a better beginning just around the bend.

Blessings to all of you today! ~

His Touch

Musings on the Touch of the Lord Jesus

"Jesus Christ was made sin for us, although in Himself He knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. O that poor sinners would go to Jesus, believing in the power of His blessed substitutionary work, and they would soon learn the power of His gracious touch. That hand which multiplied the loaves, which saved sinking Peter, which upholds afflicted saints, which crowns believers, that same hand will touch every seeking sinner, and in a moment make him clean. The love of Jesus is the source of salvation. He loves, He looks, He touches us, WE LIVE."~ C.H. Spurgeon from a meditation on Mark 1:41

Here is a thought that I can't comprehend even slightly. I have insufficient understanding to rationalize the condescension of the Son of God to ever even look at me, nevermind to look at me and love me. On the darkest of days when I find myself overwhelmed by the weight of my own depravity, I find myself wanting to run and hide from the Savior who looks at me. When I feel most undeserving and broken, I begin to close my heart to His love because it is painful to let His fire consume all the dross that collects there.

My humanity begs me to run away from God's eyes and His heart, but the Spirit within me longs to have Him as close to me as possible. Sometimes I even catch myself asking, "Lord, if I could just touch You and know You're there...if you could just show me Your glory and Your holiness so I would understand and never forget..."

Think of all the times Jesus touches. He touches the leper and makes him clean. He touches the blind man and makes him see. He touches the deaf man and makes him hear. He touches the crippled man and makes him walk. He touches the dead young woman and makes her live. He touches the bleeding woman and makes her blood stop flowing. Time and time again, He touches the guilty and makes him innocent. He touches the sinner and makes him...a saint.

To shrink from the cleansing touch of the Lord Jesus is to shrink from the hand of healing and grace. To shy away from His hand is to shy away from that nail-pierced hand which bled to purge me of my sin and cover me in righteousness. True, the truth of the words of Jesus can be difficult to swallow because I have selfish pride. His brutally honest assessment of my hard heart can sting like acid and draw out painful tears.
But, it is worth it to be touched by the One who holds the universe in the hollow of His hand. Every minute is worth it to be held by my Redeemer who has promised to never let me go.

"And He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself; touch Me and see.." (Luke 24:38-39) And just look at this invitation: Jesus invites His disciples to probe His humanity...to see His hands and feet and to touch Him. He understood what a touch meant...after all, He created us.

A bizarre thought came to me as I mused on the touch of Jesus. There is an old song from the movie, "That Thing You Do", that my sisters and I used to sing and dance to when we were younger. The chorus I have never forgotten and it goes like this:
"I want you to know when you hold my hand you hold my heart
I want you to see when our eyes meet my loving just starts
I want you to say you're thinking of me those nights when we're apart
I want you to know when you hold my hand you hold my heart."

We are interconnected beings. In effect, our hearts lead our bodies. When I hold someone's hand, I am being tied to their heart. When I come to hold someone's heart close, I want to hold them close. When "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us," (John 1:14) He touched people. He wanted their hearts to be His, so He touched them with healing and tenderness and their hearts followed. What an amazing thought!

So, what has impressed me most is this: Sometimes, in order to take full hold of our hearts, the Lord will touch our bodies. Perhaps with sickness, or pain, or desire, or insomnia, or abnormality, or injury, or even inability. Sometimes to make us trust the power of His hand, He will tie our hands behind our backs, figuratively, so there is no other option left.

Cancer...can we cure it? No, but He can...and if He doesn't, His hand has the power to use everything for His glory. The same with all the other things in our physical lives. What about infertility? Addiction?  Paralysis? Please understand that I would never gloss over the pain and difficulty of these and other circumstances...I cannot imagine what it would be like to experience them, and my prayers ascend daily for those who struggle with physical difficulties I know very little about.

But, I know this one thing: Jesus still touches us. He is still after our hearts. And when we surrender to His touch, however painful at first, our hearts will be changed and healed in exactly the way He desires. His greatest longing that was spoken again and again to the children of Israel? The love of their hearts. And that's what He wants from us today.

He Still Satisfies

Well, the day finally arrived. It came and went. I left the country for the city, family for friends, boredom for busyness. There's a peacefulness of routine here--hustle and bustle to fill my empty days. But, I pray I will never lose the blessing of quiet.

Walking down country roads early in the morning while the dew is still fresh on the fields is nothing less than breathtaking. God is so real, so present, so all-consuming. But, here in the noise and the mayhem, He is still very real..still so very present, and I pray I'll never miss that.

I cannot stop thinking about that verse I was musing on a week or so ago...it never leaves my mind. Psalm 107: 9..."For He satisfies the longing soul, and He fills the hungry soul with goodness." My soul will never stop longing for something somewhere else...I am born expected to experience angst and unrest and some degree of emotional upheaval. My soul will always be hungry for something more.

Praise God, He is where I find it..HE is where I find all that satisfies me. To all my reader friends out there, if the mental exhaustion of classes and career seem to start stealing my peace and joy, please remind me of this. If my failures and mistakes and imperfections seem to be overwhelming my ability to love and serve, please remind me again. HE satisfies...HE fills.

This switch in speeds of life can be scary and beautiful at the same time...like love, like loneliness, like longing. I'm lucky some days just to put one foot in front of the other. But, my Father only gives us one day at a time. And this one is over.

How amazing to still be able to say He has never failed..not yesterday, not today, and He won't fail tomorrow. HE will always satisfy, if only I will seek Him and let the rest fall into place.

Sleep peacefully tonight, you "redeemed of the Lord". If you are longing and hungry like me, remember that the God of Psalm 107 is YOUR God. "Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting." (1) "He changes a wilderness into a pool of water and a dry land into springs of water; and there He makes the hungry to dwell..." (35-36)

So Much Hope!

Musings on 1 Peter 1:1-9
1Pe 1:3-4 KJV
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you."
The days I take my eyes off the truth of these 9 verses are the days I sink like Peter and have to call out, "Lord, save me!" I lose my bearings because I lose sight of Jesus; who He is, all He has done to redeem me, and the certain hope of an eternal future full of worshipping Him.
Peter wrote these words after all...wouldn't it make sense that he wanted to keep us from making the same mistakes he did? What I find interesting is how much time we spend examining and condemning Peter's failures as a disciple when in fact, we are just like him. He was well-intentioned too..he wanted to serve Jesus too. But his pride got in the way, and his fear and confusion and excitement got in the way. Aren't we just like that?
Perhaps these verses in 1 Peter 1 are so precious to many of us because they remind us what (and more importantly, Who) is truly valuable and unchanging.
Let us not forget all we have been brought into through Christ and all we have been called out of. He is unchanging and therefore, our redemption is unchanging. Even though we cannot enjoy His physical company, we are invited to rejoice in His spiritual presence with us at all times...we are welcomed to worship Him even in all of our failings and sinfulness.
As Max Lucado puts it so well, "Jesus allows our mistakes to be lost in His perfection." I pray that I may take my eyes off myself and fix them on the Cross and the Savior who died there that I might live in "lively hope" and be given "an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled." He's waiting in Heaven for me and I can't wait to meet Him at last!