Saturday, April 27, 2013

Working in Our Waiting

Musing on Waiting:

I had no intention of blogging today. In fact, I haven't blogged in so long that i had almost forgotten what it felt like to NEED to say something. But I do need to say something. Today.

In the stress of writing papers for finals, I take brief study breaks to relax my mind. During my break this afternoon, I stumbled onto a Tumblr site called tmfs: To My Future Spouse. And then there were waterworks. I sobbed and smiled and laughed and worshipped.. There it was, black and white--the raw ache of waiting. The hunger and loneliness of wondering what life is going to become and what it will take to get there. Yet, right alongside that anxious impatience, was a childlike trust that God hears, listens, and is in control. We may not be patient, but He is still faithful. In the waiting, God is forming us into people who are worth the pursuit.

In reading these tender confessions, I was struck by the depth of longing in all of our hearts for something more. For acceptance and freedom and forgiveness. For intimacy and healing and deep communication. For laughter and adventure and passion. If we all have it, God must give it. And why?

I believe, as it is with all of the circumstances in our lives, our longings are for God's glory. Our longings for love and healing (emotional or physical) and freedom ultimately drive us to the only One who can satisfy them. Our longings for wholeness draw us deep into prayer, communication with the Lover of our souls. And only then, in that state of trust in our Father, can we fulfill the longings of our hearts beside another of His children.

We are all broken. We are all waiting for things in our lives to change. Perhaps we are caught in the throes of addiction, enslaved to our desires and sin. Perhaps we are desperately praying for God to heal a loved one who is sick and we don't understand. Why him? Why her? Perhaps we are longing for a relationship that matters deeply to us to be mended. Perhaps we are longing for a companion--a friend or a spouse who will love us no matter what. Perhaps we are longing to have the children God seems to be consistently denying us.

Whatever we are waiting for, we can be sure that God is using this time of emotional distress, chaos, and uncertainty to draw us to Him. And closeness to Him is what gives Him the most glory.

"Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us. You are with us in the fire and the flood. FAITHFUL FOREVER, PERFECT IN LOVE. You are sovereign over us."~Aaron Keyes